


Heartless

by Lilafly



Series: Spellbound universe [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual, Cat Sidhe, Fae & Fairies, Félix tries to understand romance and fails, Gen, Not Beta Read, Spellbound side story, Twin AU, and I feel guilty about that!, aroace Félix, don't make me repeat myself, he's a good kitten, if you're looking for more fae stuff then read Spellbound!, it's there because duh but it's not a focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29759694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilafly/pseuds/Lilafly
Summary: Being born half fae, Félix is used to beingabnormalin many different ways, and while not exactly comfortable with it all the time, he has learned to live with it. After all, he has a twin brother who he loves very much, an amazingly clever best friend and the most loving found family he could have ever asked for. Still, when the subject of love and especiallyromancebecomes more prevalent in his life, everyone else seems to go on ahead while he stays the same. He isn't loveless, he knows that, but perhaps he isheartless? After all, everyonebut himseems to fall in love and find happiness.Spellbound spoilers chapter 1-56!Please only read when you're caught up with the main story until at least chapter 56, since relationships, worldbuilding, important events, etc. arenotfurther clarified in this one-shot! Thank you.
Relationships: Felix Agreste & Adrien Agreste, Felix Agreste & Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Félix Agreste & Alya Césaire
Series: Spellbound universe [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022041
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> If you have not read Spellbound first, then **don't read this one-shot** as it contains spoilers! I have put the chapter numbers of the timeline in the breaks between scenes so if you want to read it alongside the main story, then you can do so and come back here once you're caught up on the chapters you need. The first two scenes happen before the story so they're not spoilers.
> 
> * * *
> 
> This has basically been a vent project for me because I relate to Félix a lot and wanted to give more insight into his perspective on things. His romantic and sexual orientations don't play a large role in the main story, which is why I didn't include it explicitly, but I always tried to indicate it here and there. Since people started shipping him with Bri now that she's here and since that made me a little uncomfortable due to relating to Félix so much (resident aro here, hi) I decided to write his aroace journey. I'm not dictating who you can ship or not, but spite is a very big motivator of mine! 😈
> 
> And with that being said, welcome to the first instalment of my Spellbound one-shot series! This includes some scenes you might have wanted to see in the past but never got, and some things you never knew you needed, so I hope you'll enjoy these 11k words of extra content! 💚
> 
> ~~This isn't beta-read because I'm impatient. 😬 Let's hope I managed to catch most of the evil typos! 🤞~~

Despite what the world might believe, Félix was aware of what love was. He knew it as a sandpaper tongue running over his fur while he drifted off to sleep, and as snuggling under a warm blanket in cold weather with a good book to read. It also was sunshine falling through the leaves of trees, creating shadowy patterns on the grass and letting light specks dance among them. Love was a laugh of joy, and hugs, and a kiss on his forehead as his mother’s voice bid him good night. And while he might argue it out loud, he knew that love also was the teasing and the pranks that his brother never got tired of pulling on him.

The first time Félix heard his mother talking about _crushes_ , he had still been a kitten, five years of age and with little idea of what the world thought about the things that were clear as day to him. Of course, he knew about his nature and that he wasn’t human, but seeing how he barely got to see humans outside his family to begin with, he wasn’t bothered by that fact very much. This day was different though, because he and Adrien actually went outside to a playground with their mother and Nathalie—their father, as always, had been too busy to come as well.

Adrien and Félix had been cautioned to never take off the bracelets that held their glamours intact or otherwise they wouldn’t be allowed to go outside again. While his brother was horrified by the prospect, Félix just nodded and accepted that rule. They weren’t humans and humans didn’t like what wasn’t them, so it made sense to take on their likeness when visiting places they frequented.

While Adrien had made it his personal mission to climb every playground equipment there was to climb, Félix had settled down on the meadow beside the sandpit and picked a bouquet of buttercups. When he deemed it finished, he presented it to Nathalie who accepted it with a smile. When he went back to pick one of four-leafed clovers for his mother, a girl sat down beside him.

“Wow, so many! Where’d you find them?” She asked with a lisp and wide brown eyes.

“On this meadow,” Félix replied, confused, and then went back to picking out the shamrocks from the regular clover.

“How’d you do that so fast?! It always takes forever to find one!” The girl said, impressed, and shuffled closer to sit down directly next to Félix. He leaned away.

“I just…know where they are?” Félix said, more confused than ever. 

It seemed quite obvious to him, seeing how four-leafed clovers held magic while regular clovers didn’t. But his mother had forbidden him to talk about magic while they were outside the house, so that didn’t leave him with many options to explain his _trick_.

“Can you show me?”

“Uh…okay,” he said hesitantly and pointed to the next four-leafed clover he saw. “There is one.”

The girl practically pounced on it and then turned to Félix with a grin as she held it up. Only a moment later, her eyes went wide with confusion and she rubbed them. When she looked at him again after that, she laughed.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course, you can?” He said, ducking down shyly by her leaning close to whisper in his ear.

“You just looked like you had fluffy ears.”

Félix startled, looking at his wrist, but the bracelet was still there so his glamour was working. Shrugging it off, he continued to point out four-leafed clovers to the girl and she kept laughing, calling him a kitty—which was slightly demeaning but accurate—every time she picked a clover. The strange reaction only occurred with the four-leafed ones though, so that she always turned around with an expression of disappointment when accidentally picking a three-leafed one instead. It was probably the magic.

Eventually, a woman walked over and told the girl that they needed to go home. The girl whined for a bit about wanting to stay longer, but eventually waved at Félix with a “bye kitty” and her small bouquet of clovers tightly clutched in her fist. Félix waved as well and eventually walked over to his mother to give her the bouquet of shamrocks. For some reason, she seemed to find it hilarious.

Overall, it had been a good day.

“Did my little furball have a crush?” His mother asked on their way home.

Félix tilted his head. “What’s that?”

She laughed and picked him up.

“It’s when you like someone much more than you like other people.”

“I like _you_ and Adrien and Nathalie and father more than I like other people,” Félix replied.

“Oh, sweetling, that’s not the same.”

“Then what’s a crush?” Adrien asked and bounced around with impatient excitement.

“It’s when your heart has a fluttery feeling the moment you see that person and you just know that you like them veeeeery much.” She pressed a quick kiss to Félix’s cheek, making him giggle. “We’re very prone to crushes, you know? More than humans are.”

“That sounds nice!” Adrien decided with a large grin and ran ahead, yelling the word ‘crush’ over and over again and making Nathalie chase after him.

“It wasn’t a crush,” Félix said and looked at his mother. “There was no fluttering.”

She hummed. “Still a sweet girl, wasn’t she?”

Félix nodded. “She could see my ears and called me ‘kitty.’ Is that bad?”

His mother laughed. “It’s adorable, my little furball. At this age, they forget easily and if they don’t, it’ll be something they’ll write off as a child’s imagination someday. You did no harm. But be careful with shamrocks from now on, one can break your glamour for a single glance.”

“Oh,” Félix said and felt his ears droop. “I didn’t know they had that effect.”

“Well, now you know,” she said and then set him down. “Please help Nathalie catch your brother before he runs off too far again, alright?”

A glance ahead told him that Adrien had, indeed, gotten quite far and that Nathalie had enormous trouble getting a hold of him. Félix nodded.

“I’ll catch him,” he said and then was off.

* * *

“She’s so pretty,” Adrien said with sparkly eyes.

“Is she?”

“Don’t be rude!”

“I’m not. I’m just asking a simple question.”

The two of them were at a photoshoot with their parents and currently staring at one of the models. She had caramel-brown eyes, auburn hair and overall looked quite good…for a mortal.

“Yes, she is,” Adrien eventually answered before the two of them had to duck back behind the curtain of a changing room when a staff member passed close by.

As much as Félix liked following rules, he couldn’t deny that sometimes it was also nice to embrace the chaos and take advantage of loopholes. While that usually was on Nathalie’s expense, today it was fully on their father’s which gave the whole thing a new thrill. Nathalie, at this point, knew how to state things explicitly to leave them little to no wiggle room, but their father had thought that “stay near the staff” was a good enough rule to not get them into trouble. Needless to say, it was quite the broad rule, which had led to two nine-year-old Cat Sidhe halflings being let loose in a ten-story building.

“Mother is prettier,” Félix commented.

“Of course, she is. No one is prettier than mother!” Adrien rolled his eyes as if stating something as obvious as that iron burned when touched. “But Yvette is pretty too! And she’s nice! She gave us sugar cookies last time, remember?”

Félix nodded. That had indeed been nice of her to do.

“Do you think we should say ‘hello’ to her?”

“Father will find us if we run out into the open now.”

“Worth it!” Adrien said with a grin, grabbed Félix’s hand and pulled him forward out of their hiding place.

“Hello Yvette!” Adrien called, his eyes still holding a joyful sparkle in them as if someone had just given him a gift. Was he expecting more sugar cookies perhaps?

“Oh!” Yvette said, surprised but not displeased, and turned around with a smile before crouching down to be on eye level with them. “Hello you two. Are you sneaking off again?”

Adrien nodded enthusiastically.

“Can you not tell father?” Félix asked and grabbed the hem of his shirt nervously. He never liked it when their father got angry at them.

“It’s our little secret,” Yvette said with a wink.

Adrien beamed. “You look super pretty in that dress! Almost as pretty as mother!”

She laughed. “Aren’t you a sweetheart?” She said and ruffled Adrien’s hair, making him giggle.

A call from the photographer made her sigh.

“Back to work. Help yourselves to the cookies on the refreshment table. But don’t eat all of them please,” she said before giving them a wave and hurrying back to the set.

Adrien let out a sigh, a wide smile still stretched on his face.

Félix looked at him quizzically. “Are you alright?”

“She’s so nice,” Adrien said in a dreamy voice.

“We already established that earlier. This isn’t out of the norm.”

Adrien tilted his head, but Félix couldn’t for the life of him figure out what of his statement had confused his brother. Shrugging it off, he eventually ventured over to the refreshment table and took a sugar cookie off it. They weren’t the _best_ quality, but they were something sweet and forbidden by their father. It might be a little spiteful, but then again, their father deserved some spite from time to time.

“Do you think father would let me model if I asked him?”

Félix paused and thought. The looks wouldn’t be much of an issue in Adrien’s case as both of them were on the aesthetically pleasing side of the extremes spectrum. Either a fae was radiantly beautiful or they were grotesquely ugly, with barely any middle ground between the two.

“As far as I’m aware, father’s company doesn’t produce children’s clothes, nor anything for young teenagers.”

Adrien pouted. “Do you think mother can convince him?”

“Why do you want to model so badly anyway?”

His eyes lit up with that sparkle again.

“I can spend more time with Yvette then!” Adrien said and stuffed an entire sugar cookie into his mouth.

Félix frowned, not quite understanding his brother’s thought process for once. While Yvette was nice, she was ten years older than the two of them, and humans usually didn’t care much about making friends with an age gap of a decade, generally searching for people their own age. If Adrien wanted to be Yvette’s friend, then his chances were bad from the very start. He didn’t want to pop his brother’s happy bubble though and thus, instead of voicing the illogicality of the entire endeavour, decided to take another sugar cookie.

* * *

**BETWEEN CHAPTER 4 & CHAPTER 5**

* * *

“Fé?”

“Hmm?”

“What do you think a girl likes as a gift?”

Félix blinked at the phone. They had just been discussing how he would have to take on Adrien’s responsibilities—modelling, among other things—while he would serve his unjust punishment. If things were up to him, he’d rip that bell collar off his brother’s neck right this instant and _burn it_. As it seemed, though, Adrien’s thoughts had drifted to another matter entirely.

“What has possessed you to ask that?”

“Don’t be dense, I need to thank her, don’t I?”

“No, you don’t. You’re a halfling,” Félix stated soberly. “There’s no promise or etiquette binding you to return her kindness.”

“But I want to!” Adrien whined miserably.

“You need to set your priorities straight. She was just a random girl who was nice to you. While I am glad that you managed to get through Midsummer due to being near her, I don’t think solely being in someone’s proximity warrants a form of objective gratitude.”

Adrien let out an annoyed groan.

“You’re no help at all! Do you think she’ll like jewellery? Oh! Could you snatch that star necklace from father’s new jewellery line when you’re at the photoshoot? I think she’d really like that.”

Félix sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Clearly, his brother had gone off the deep end once more and he wouldn’t be satisfied until this matter was taken care of. He wanted to give a random girl a necklace from the newest Gabriel line? Fine. As soon as that was done, Adrien would have paid his _debt_ and things could go back to normal. Arguing the subject further would most likely just make things worse.

“Fine, I’ll get you the stupid necklace.”

There was a happy feline noise from the other end.

“But what if she won’t like it? Or if she thinks I stole the necklace?!”

“Adrien Agreste stealing a Gabriel original? I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that one.”

“ _Oh,_ you think I should give it to her as _me_? Wouldn’t that be weird?”

Félix paused and stared at the phone for a moment of bewilderment. Up until now, he had assumed that Adrien intended to express his gratitude as his human-looking self, but clearly Midsummer had robbed his brother of a couple of brain cells if he thought visiting her as a cat again would bring anything good _at all_. Much less giving her a gift as one.

“I believe you’re the one being dense now. If you’d give her a necklace _as a cat_ she’d definitely think it to be strange or that you stole it. Worst case scenario, she’d even figure out you’re not a real cat.”

Adrien made a horrified noise.

“That can’t happen! Okay, so plan B: You get the necklace and once I can go out as myself again, I’ll carry it around with me and give it to her after sneaking away from one of the photoshoots. That’s the only time I can get out of the house at a normal time without it being suspicious and I just have to be sneaky to evade our bodyguard.”

Félix sighed. “And then what? You’ll just show up at her house out of nowhere and give her a necklace for no reason you can explain?”

There were ten seconds of silence.

“I’ll think of something plausible to say! Gifting someone jewellery can’t be _that_ weird! I see it in movies all the time.”

“Why are you being so persistent about this?” Félix asked tiredly, but in the same sentence realised the reason. “You like her, don’t you?”

An affirmative chirp was his answer.

“She’s so kind and nice and pretty! And she can design very well! And-”

“Did I ask for a repeat of your swooning lecture about her greatness?”

Adrien giggled. “Just wait till you meet her! You’ll see, she’s great!”

Félix sighed once again. It was no use. During the last four years as a model, Adrien had developed loose crushes left and right on anyone who was genuinely nice to him—not a big hurdle to jump—and Félix had been there to witness all of it. First Yvette, then Benoît the nice designer, several fellow models, a full twenty-minute-lasting crush on a makeup artist before he had started talking about his boyfriend which had been followed by the shortest walkthrough of the five stages of grief that Félix had ever seen. Overall, his brother’s criteria, stemming from this now loveless household, was easy and Félix wasn’t even sure if Adrien’s intentions were of a romantic or a platonic nature most of the time. Sometimes he claimed he wanted to be friends while other times he swooned about a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. Félix honestly couldn’t tell the difference either way, as Adrien’s modus operandi was to go all in every single time. Simply _watching_ those pursuits was exhausting, let alone being involved in them, and he had no idea why Adrien still tried at all or how he felt the whole chaos of emotions appealing in the first place.

After all of these years, Félix knew the signs of his brother having a crush. Not just the beginnings of it, because Adrien, even when oblivious to it sometimes, fell _fast_ and hard. It seemed like, once again, a new crush had formed and if Félix knew one thing for certain then it was that there was nothing anyone could do to tear Adrien away from this Marinette girl until he got a clear answer from her.

* * *

**BETWEEN CHAPTER 15 & CHAPTER 16**

* * *

Félix looked at Marinette from the corner of his eye while she was concentrating on her homework. Adrien might be in denial, out of the novelty of the situation that they could actually be around a human girl and escape their cold home, but Félix saw the sparkly glimmer in his eyes every time his brother talked about her. It was the same glimmer that he had when he was watching his favourite shows or held extensive rambles about all sorts of enthusiastic interests of his. It was a look Félix had long since recognised as _love_ and Adrien _clearly_ preferred Marinette’s company over that of other people. Was it friendship or a crush? If it was the latter, then it certainly was the longest-standing crush Adrien had ever held for someone. Did his brother have that fluttery feeling their mother had once described?

No matter how hard Félix tried though, he never felt the flutters or a surge of disproportionate affection that his mother and the movies had always spoken of. There also was no lightness or pink-tinted vision—if that even was a thing—just a general fondness. On the one hand, this was a good thing as this meant that he wouldn’t threaten Adrien’s potential claim on her. On the other hand, though…what did it mean? Marinette was an amazing person in every way, probably the best person he had ever met! Yet still, he didn’t have a crush on her.

His subtle glance must have turned into downright _staring_ while he pondered this, because the next thing he knew, Marinette glanced over at him with a quizzical expression.

“Everything okay?” She asked and he flinched slightly.

The automatic response naturally would have been a nod or an affirmation of some other kind, but what came out of his mouth when he started speaking clearly wasn’t that.

“Have you ever had a crush on someone?”

Marinette immediately went beet-red and avoided eye contact, which in turn made Félix panic. Had he asked something wrong? Was it perhaps more taboo of a topic among humans than he had thought it was? Had he unwittingly insinuated something, or worse, had he _offended_ her?!

“W-why do you ask?” She stuttered, her voice high and squeaky.

Félix ducked his head in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I…I was just curious about the…uh…symptoms. You don’t need to answer.”

Marinette furrowed her eyebrows, her blush slightly dying down. “You’re making it sound like an illness.”

Félix grimaced. “I didn’t intend to. So far, I just have fairly little information on the topic and I thought it useful to learn more about it from someone who might be able to speak from experience, so that I know to identify it when I see it.”

She nodded thoughtfully, her blush now completely gone. “I see. Well, I had the regular kindergarten crushes and celebrity crushes, but I don’t think those really count.”

“There are several different types?”

Marinette nodded again. “Yeah, kind of. Kindergarten crushes are basically just little kids imitating what they see from their parents with another kid. It’s fairly innocent with smooches, hand-holding and playing house usually. Celebrity crushes are when you think you’re in love with a celebrity like an actor or a model. Adrien probably has a lot of those pining after him.”

“So _that_ is what those fangirls are possessed by,” Félix mused aloud. He had always wondered about the ones that hadn’t seemed to be gold-diggers but rather just…scarily _obsessed_ with his brother and sometimes even him.

Marinette snorted. “Yeah, possessed is a good word for it. It really can feel like someone put a spell on you.”

Félix was honestly perplexed for a moment. She knew what a _spell_ felt like?! Wait, no, she probably meant it metaphorically. Now, that was just confusing.Contrary to her, he knew what a _real_ spell felt like, which therefore didn’t help him relate to the vague feeling any more than the description of a fluttery heart did. The only time his heart had _fluttered_ was when nervous, and that wasn’t the most pleasant of feelings, so it couldn’t be it.

“Is it a good feeling?”

She shrugged. “An obsession is an obsession. It feels good at the time, but it also isn’t healthy.”

“So…a crush isn’t healthy then?”

“No! I mean, some can be unhealthy, I guess? Usually a crush is something good though.”

“So, how does it usually feel like when it’s a regular person?” Félix asked.

Marinette cringed and shrugged. “I don’t think I ever had a crush on someone like _that_ , so I can’t really help with it. Sorry.”

“It’s alright, thanks for your input anyways.”

Marinette smiled and then turned back around to her homework while Félix returned to reading his book. All this conversation had accomplished was to confuse him even further.

* * *

**BETWEEN CHAPTER 19 & CHAPTER 20**

* * *

**_“Aww, Fé, why didn’t you tell me you found a girlfriend?”_ **

Once.

Adrien had teased him about it exactly _once_ and then never again. Félix often found himself opening his mouth to ask his brother how he had drawn such a conclusion in the first place, but then always quickly closed it again. There was a reason Adrien didn’t speak about the revel and an even bigger reason why Félix didn’t speak about it either and shouldn’t even _think_ about it. Yet, still, he often found himself wondering about that one innocent comment.

Based on what he knew about crushes and love, he held nothing of this sort for the changeling. Sound respect for her and admiration for being that strong of a person in her perilous situation, those feelings were pretty much a given. There was also some resentment and blame for the traumatic event he would have never witnessed without her input, but he knew better than to fully blame others for his own failures and shortcomings.

There was no crush, no love and nothing else that would imply that she would be a suitor to him of any kind. Well, there was the embarrassing and frankly insulting situation where she had called him _fluffy,_ but that hardly counted.

Either way, whatever the source of inspiration for his brother had been, it had been an embarrassing moment and thinking about it made him feel queasy and uncomfortable. He didn’t like insinuations of this kind and he tried very desperately to communicate that to Adrien somehow so that they could avoid conflict in the future. How could he bring it up though? Wouldn’t it be weird as well? They teased each other all the time and it was hardly like Félix would ever get close enough to another girl for Adrien to make a similar comment again.

Maybe he could just let it rest and _not_ say anything. It wasn’t even really a problem, was it? He was just being ridiculously perfectionistic again and should _loosen up_ like Nino often told him to.

* * *

**BETWEEN CHAPTER 39 & CHAPTER 40**

* * *

“What is it like?”

The question had come out of nowhere and Félix was probably the most startled one out of both of them, even though he had been the one to ask it. Well, Adrien was more confused than startled honestly.

“What’s what like?” He asked, sitting up from his inclined position on the sofa and pausing the show they had been watching.

It was some sort of criminal drama, so really, Félix had absolutely no business to let his mind wander to the topic it had. As it was though, he had been wracking his head about it for weeks now and this was apparently the boiling point.

“Having a crush,” Félix clarified and shuffled uncomfortably, especially when there was a disbelieving huff from the cat playground above.

“Not you too,” Plagg exclaimed in apparent disbelief.

Adrien ignored the kwami in favour of staring at Félix with a thoughtful expression, only lightly blushing.

“Where does that come from all of a sudden?”

Félix shrugged and averted his gaze. They had been going to school for a couple of months now and no matter how hard and with whom Félix tried, he could never summon that fluttery elusive feeling everyone kept speaking so fondly of. At first, he had told himself that his distrust might be getting in the way of any kind of progress. Then, eventually, he had considered the option that he might be attracted to more than one gender—or not caring about gender either way, like his brother—though that had ended with similarly lacking results. Even when he went out of his way to try, there just wasn’t…anything. And if anyone could give him advice without judging him for it, then it would be Adrien.

“Curiosity,” he mumbled, hoping it to be enough.

Usually Adrien would have made a joke about curiosity and cats, but like so often, he could read Félix better than anyone and therefore shuffled closer.

“A crush, huh?” He said thoughtfully when he was sitting close enough to lean on him—it was a comfort. “Let’s see. It feels like being drawn to Tír na nÓg’s songs, but instead of scary uncertainty, it’s a person. And you just want to make sure they’re happy and make them laugh and feel safe.”

“Sounds more like you’re _in love_ rather than a simple crush, kid,” Plagg commented, making Adrien splutter. “To be fair, the line between those two is very thin with the fair folk to begin with.”

“I can’t relate to being drawn to anyone in this way, but I do want people to be safe and happy. So, what is the difference?” Félix eventually asked.

“It’s more intense, I guess. You feel all these things, but multiplied by a lot to the point where you can barely function sometimes. Like an emotional overload over the smallest of things like a smile or a simple touch. Also, you will think about them _a lot_ and you’re barely able to think of anyone or anything else.”

“Geez, kid, you’ve got it bad,” Plagg commented, which prompted Adrien to throw a pillow at him.

Félix, meanwhile, thought his brother’s words over. It sounded like a very irrational state, but then again, emotions weren’t known to be rational. Perhaps that was his problem and he just didn’t have enough emotions. Then again…

“I’m fae,” he said out loud, yet so quietly that he at first thought no one had heard.

“Congratulations for figuring that out,” Plagg deadpanned, prompting a protective hiss from Adrien who had read his distress accurately.

“Fé?” He asked quietly, and hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. A silent question.

Félix let out a noise of distress and frustration that was probably more feline and fey than it was human.

“Fae are highly emotional beings,” he said, trying to explain his thought process. “And I know it’s much rarer for me, but I can be emotional too. So…why can’t I get this right? It should come naturally to me, mother kept insisting on it. She said crushes were normal, even when we were fickle with them. I never even managed _fickle_ though. You had them all the time, so something needs to be wrong with _me._ ”

Adrien wrapped him in a hug and purred comfortingly.

“It’s not something that you choose to feel. It just happens, Fé,” he said. “And I know this doesn’t help, but maybe you just have too high of a standard and that’s why no one has caught your interest in _that_ way yet.”

Félix nodded. That seemed like a reasonable explanation for his dilemma, especially since Adrien was right and his standards for company really tended to be quite high while his brother usually tried to make friends with everyone he met. No wonder he hadn’t had a crush on anyone yet while Adrien had several—though this one was by far the most serious while the others were as fickle as their mother had predicted.

* * *

**BETWEEN CHAPTER 50 & CHAPTER 51**

* * *

Félix was being irrational. He knew that and yet he couldn’t stop getting disproportionally worked up about a simple thing that would eventually be an inevitability.

Usually, he would enjoy his afternoons alone while Adrien was on a date with Marinette or when they even were on a double date with Nino and Alya. Those days meant no Adrien, no Plagg and thus as much silence as Félix was going to get with _Faerie’s_ eerie tune always at the back of his mind. He loved reading a good book in peace then or even enjoyed to, for once, be able to work on his homework with no interruptions or distractions, usually in the form of a whining kwami.

Today, though, some dark thoughts had snuck their way in and wouldn’t let him go. With his brother and Marinette finally together and Adrien so obviously and thoroughly in love, it had become hard to ignore the small speck of jealousy in him. Not jealous of their relationship per se, but about them spending time together without Félix. Again, he was being incredibly irrational and it was frustrating, but the feeling of abandonment didn’t want to leave him alone today.

_Leave him alone…_

He huffed, a noise halfway a laugh and halfway hysterical. Because he was alone and if things continued the way they did, it would stay that way.

Despite stopping to actively try to get a crush or even fall in love, Félix had still noted his seeming lack of ability to do so. And people called him rude, unempathetic and cold. Not to dilute himself, he could be all those things, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t love as well. He loved his brother, his friends and his found family. Apparently, those didn’t count though.

As long as he lacked a romantic love interest, he appeared pitiful in society’s eyes and the longer he stayed without one, the more people around him crushed on people and found love, the more broken he felt. Because, still, after all these years, there was absolutely _nothing_. The small hope Adrien had incensed in him ten months ago about high standards and finding love naturally someday was slowly but surely dying and Félix didn’t know if he could revive it.

Félix thought about all the things he was _supposed_ to like and feel drawn to in that way—candlelit dinners, kisses, …other things—but nothing was appealing to him. Even worse, some of these things downright _disgusted_ him to even think about, let alone see others do. Words that were meant to be sweet and flirty were absolutely cringy to him like nails on a chalkboard or the sound of bells. Kissing generally made him feel uncomfortable and the few times he had tried to entertain the idea of kissing someone in daydreams, he had always come out of it shuddering unpleasantly and feeling…just gross.

The one time he had mentioned the latter, Alya had inquired about it and even seemed shocked to hear that he never even entertained the idea. He never forgot her words, meant in jest: “Don’t worry, you’ll get it when you’re older or find someone.”

Maybe she was right, but it had still stung, as if his opinion was equal to that of a child that didn’t understand how the world worked yet. Well, Félix, in fact, _didn’t_ understand how romantic love worked, but did that make him naïve, ignorant, or, by Danu, even _unintelligent_? (He wouldn’t call himself _stupid_ , that was beneath him.)

He had considered that fae were different from humans and that his thought process was therefore unlikely to line up with Alya’s. But then he had remembered Adrien mentioning something similar, so what was the truth?

Was he broken? Naïve?

Apparently, he was unable to love in the only way society accepted the concept of love: romantically. Could that even mean he was heartless? A loveless creature desperately hanging on to second-grade love that definitely _was_ love but still not good enough? If he couldn’t find it, that meant that everyone would leave him to find that better kind of love that he wasn’t able to give and while he didn’t mind being alone from time to time…he didn’t want to _stay_ alone.

Instead of doing homework, reading a book or doing literally anything else, Félix curled up on the bed that afternoon while his thoughts turned in circles, getting more destructive and depressing by the hour. It therefore didn’t come as a surprise that he pretty much tackled Adrien in a hug as soon as his brother came home.

“Fé? What’s wrong?” Adrien asked, immediately concerned and Félix winced.

He probably had had a great day and now here he was, ruining it with his stupid irrationality. There was no way to hide it though, seeing how he had been shaking for a good part of the last hour.

When Félix didn’t reply, Adrien carefully, and a little awkwardly, picked him up in a sort of bridal style and carried him over to the sofa. When they sat down, Félix instinctively curled up with his head in his brother’s lap and hoped very much for his fit of irrationality to be over soon. He wasn’t this emotional often, so when it happened, it was overwhelming—either too little or too much, never a middle thing. The thought of shifting briefly crossed his mind, but that train of thought quickly veered into unbearable territory. Being a cat right now while thinking about everyone he _loved_ leaving him…it would be too much. Humans weren’t left behind usually, but cats almost always were—shoved into a box that was abandoned in an alley, simply released in the middle of nowhere or even thrown into the Seine by especially cruel people. Putting a form to his currently biggest fear certainly wouldn’t help.

“Am I heartless?” Félix eventually asked, his voice strangely hoarse.

“What?! No! Fé, what the hell?! Why would you even think that?!”

Hunching his shoulders and staring at the floor, he tried to find the right words and the strength to explain it. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to talk about it, but now that he had started, there was no way Adrien would let it rest.

“I think…I…I can’t love people in the way that counts.”

“In the way that _counts_?” Adrien echoed, confused.

Félix nodded. “Romantically.”

“Fé, that’s okay.”

“It’s _not_ though! I am abnormal in every meaning of the word! And it’s not even a fae thing because fae are known for their…amorous activities and I _really_ don’t want to have anything to do with that.”

“Now hold on a–”

“But it can’t be a human thing either because _everyone_ is hung up on romantic love and–”

“Stop!” Adrien interrupted him with unusual harshness before his voice softened again. “Just…stop for a second, okay?”

Félix curled up further. “Like I said, it’s abnormal,” he muttered.

“It’s not though,” his brother said. “I think it’s quite ordinary to be uncomfortable with something intimate like that when you haven’t experienced it yourself and also have nothing to really compare it to. Just because you never loved someone romantically doesn’t mean that you’re heartless. You love me, right?”

“Don’t be absurd, of course I love you. But that’s not–”

“And you love Marinette, don’t you?” Adrien continued unerringly.

“Yes, but not the way you do,” Félix said.

Adrien let out a small laugh. “Thank Danu for that! It would suck to be stuck in a love triangle with my own brother. But how does this make your love somehow not _count_? Would it be _right_ for you to love _my_ girlfriend romantically?”

“Of course not.”

“Exactly. So everything’s completely normal there.”

“It’s still not…”

“Still not what?”

“Everyone I know wants to find romantic love but I’m not sure if I even _want_ it regardless of the fact that I seemingly am unable to. That means, though, that…that everyone will leave me someday. It’s inevitable. Even you.”

The last part was spoken so quietly that he wasn’t sure Adrien could pick it up even with his good hearing. By the way he tightened his hold on him though, he had heard it.

“Fé…” he started but trailed off, probably because there was nothing to argue with that statement. It was a simple, hurtful truth.

“I…I just don’t want to be alone.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Hey,” Adrien eventually said softly. “I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere any time soon. It’s still more than two years until graduation and I’m sure we’ll think of something until then. You won’t be alone, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t possibly keep.”

“I’ll try my very best to keep this one.”

* * *

**AROUND CHAPTER 54**

* * *

“Why are you so hung up on _exposing_ a romantic relationship between the heroes?” Félix asked while reading through Alya’s notes of an interview run.

She had tirelessly asked people for their opinion on Ladybug and Chat Noir’s relationship status or sometimes even sexuality and…Félix just didn’t _get it_. Not that this was anything unusual, since Alya’s ways of thinking not rarely eluded him, or that it was anything new that people sensationalised romance, but this one in particular was even more incomprehensible to him than others.

“Because people like to speculate about that stuff. Curiosity and living vicariously through other couples, you know?”

“I don’t.”

“What?”

“I don’t _know_. Is it common for people to pine after other peoples’ relationships, real or not?”

“Yeah, kinda? It’s just interesting to gossip about it. I get it though, you’re too aro for this.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hey, no need to be offended! It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

“I wasn’t expressing incredulity, but rather confusion.”

“Wait, you’re not _…oh,_ shit, I’m sorry. I just assumed. Nevermind! Forget I said anything!” Alya said and took her glasses off to clean them, something she often did when embarrassed.

“I think we’re having a misunderstanding,” Félix said hesitantly.

“Really sorry, I know I shouldn’t assume things and I just got ahead of myself there!”

“That is the thing. I have no idea what you assumed as I’m not familiar with the term ‘aro.’”

Alya put her glasses back on and looked at him in confusion for a moment. Then her eyes went wide and her mouth formed a silent ‘oh’ as she seemed to realise something.

“It means aromantic,” she then said and stared at him with a serious expression. “Mari and I did a deep dive into sexualities and stuff a few months ago and I just thought the term fit you. You know, since you’re not into romance stuff.”

Félix froze and stared at her in disbelief as he tried to comprehend what he had just heard. Could there really be an actual reason, with a word attached, for what he had felt all this time? 

“There…there is a _term_ for that abnormality?!”

Alya threw him a look that was halfway to offended and otherwise a reprimanding glare.

“Hey, it’s not _abnormal!_ There’s lots of people who don’t care for romance. Or sex too, though that’s asexuality.”

He honestly felt a little light-headed all of a sudden. For basically his entire life he had thought that he was broken in some way, only to now find out that he belonged into an absolutely _normal_ group of people! The relief was indescribable, like something had finally clicked into place.

“It’s…it’s normal?” He asked hopefully, internally already planning a nasty prank in case Alya was _joking_.

“Totally normal! I mean, there’s lots of people who don’t get it and the stereotypes and I’m really not an expert, I mostly just skimmed it, but not having romantic feelings is _definitely_ normal.”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “I…I guess I’m both aromantic and asexual then? Is there more information on the topic?”

Alya grinned. “Tons! Just google it and you’ll find all these scientifically specific definitions you love so much. Actually, let me look it up!”

And that’s how they spent the next hour going through definitions and experience reports, most of which Félix could only strongly nod along to. To see that there were others out there who had thought themselves to be heartless and feared being left alone someday was…a relief of some sort. It wouldn’t resolve the latter problem, but the knowledge alone that he wasn’t the only one who felt that way was an enormous comfort.

“I still can’t believe that I just initiated your aroace awakening. Well, sort of at least,” Alya said after a while. “Congratulations by the way!”

“Why are you congratulating me?”

“It’s a relief, isn’t it? At least it was one for me when I realised I was bi.”

“Oh, then congratulations on coming out to me, I guess?”

Alya snorted. “I thought you knew that already. I’ve not exactly been subtle.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not very adept at picking up on such things. You must have mentioned it in my absence.”

“Ah, yeah right. It must have come up on one of the double dates, I guess. Anyway, feeling better now?” Alya asked with a grin.

Félix nodded. “Much better.”

“Great! And no worries, your secret is safe with me.”

“It’s not much of a secret, as I never hid my dislike for romance. The only difference to before is that I now know a term for it.”

“Eh, I’m not one to randomly out people, even if they’re comfortable with it. It’s just not my business, you know?”

Félix gave her an incredulous look. “If you really feel that way, then why are you hounding the local heroes for that kind of private information?”

Alya leaned back in her chair and threw the ceiling an annoyed groan.

“Ugh, you’re _right_. But if I’m not gonna do it, then some unscrupulous tabloid will get on their case. This might be a stupid reason, but I at least want to kind of _control_ the information a bit? You know how some magazines are homophobic and stuff, yeah?”

Félix nodded.

“If they’d get their hands on some information like that, they might tear the heroes down or, in case they’re straight, would build them up like an example meant to bash the LGBT community. I just want to write a positive post and in the best case give some oppressed people out there role models to look up to.”

Félix very much doubted that his brother ever planned to come out as whatever he’d end up identifying with, as Chat Noir, but he at least appreciated Alya’s effort to make sure such information would be handled as positively as at all possible.

“While this is indeed a noble cause, maybe you should let the heroes decide that for themselves instead of asking the locals for their opinions.”

Alya snapped her fingers and pointed at him.

“And this is exactly what I meant with you reigning me in. Thanks for the reality check.”

“Anytime.”

She suddenly winced. “Do you think Adrien will be mad that you technically came out to me first instead of to him?”

That was indeed a good question. 

“Considering the circumstances, I don’t think so. We’ll have to wait and see though. I’ll warn you in case he’ll be caught in a jealous fit.”

Especially with Chloé’s dangerous attempts to expose their fae heritage to Marinette and with Midwinter approaching, his brother’s moods became more unpredictable with every passing day.

* * *

**AROUND CHAPTER 54**

* * *

Félix wrung his hands under the table, knowing how ridiculous he was being. Marinette and his brother _never_ had voiced any sort of issue with his lack of interest in romance and had even supported him in whatever way he had needed support. There was no judgment, no scrutiny, no distressing reactions whatsoever. So why, as he watched them tidy up after dinner, did he feel so nervous? Was it embarrassment from only figuring himself out _now_ while Alya, and seemingly also Marinette, had silently known for _months_? Maybe it was the general tenseness that wrapped around them lately and the anticipation of something going wrong any second. His view drifted to Adrien, that emotional twin brother of his, whose reaction was both easy and extremely difficult for him to predict. In the end, he wasn’t worried about acceptance, but rather about how they’d both take it to be the first and last respectively to get the memo.

“Alya and I had an interesting discussion today,” he said, figuring that was the best opening he’d be able to manage.

Marinette looked up from loading the plates into the dishwasher and Adrien paused in his search for cling wrap. Félix hadn’t meant to do it on this very same day, but seeing how procrastinating it would only end up badly for everyone involved, including Alya, this was the best opportunity he had. Tom and Sabine had already retreated to their bedroom, leaving tidying up after dinner to the three of them, which at least removed the part of awkward parent discussions.

“Some new theory for the Ladyblog?” Adrien asked.

“Not quite. We were talking about the results from one of the interview runs where she asked people about Ladybug and Chat Noir’s relationship status. Somehow that transitioned into a conversation about romantic attraction and sexualities.”

_Alright, now or never._

Marinette was patiently silent, probably already knowing where he was going with this, while Adrien curiously tilted his head and knew better than to interrupt while Félix tried to find his words.

“Do you know what aroace means?”

“It means not feeling romantically and sexually attracted to anyone, right?” Marinette said.

Adrien’s eyes lit up in understanding.

“There’s a term for it?”

Instead of initially confused and taken off-guard, like Félix had first been, Adrien immediately sounded excited.

“That’s amazing Fé!” His previous task completely forgotten, he rushed around the kitchen aisle to wrap Félix in a tight hug. “See? I told you it was okay! How do you feel now?”

Félix couldn’t help the smile. Of course, his brother would be excited for him rather than angry that he hadn’t been the first one to have been told about the new label. In a way, he really had been the first to know, always telling him he was completely alright the way he was as long as he was happy.

“Relieved.”

“I’m so glad!” Adrien said and suddenly Félix found himself lifted in the air.

“Put me down! This is embarrassing!”

“Who’s here to judge you?”

“Marinette is.”

“I’m not judging you,” she said with a giggle. “I’m rather judging my boyfriend. Adrien, put him down please.”

That’s how Félix found himself suddenly on the sofa with Adrien pretty much glued to his side. He fondly rolled his eyes and scratched his brother’s scalp in his own way of showing appreciation and to annoy him a little of having to suppress a purr.

“Now don’t be so overdramatic about it. It’s just a label.”

“I think it’s a big revelation for you,” Marinette said as she let herself fall down on the sofa beside him and gave him a hug as well that he gladly returned.

“We should celebrate!” Adrien declared excitedly.

“No, we shouldn’t,” Félix said.

“Maybe I could make you a themed cake, or macarons, or cupcakes. Oh! How about some petit fours? I’ve wanted to try that one recipe for _months_ now!” Marinette mused and as she noticed his no doubt apprehensive look, threw him a reassuring smile. “Just a small thing, don’t worry.”

Félix sighed, knowing that this idea had festered in their heads now.

“Fine. A small celebration could be nice.”

Marinette grinned victoriously before her eyes landed on Adrien on his other side.

“What about you actually, Kitkat?”

His brother tilted his head, releasing his vice-grip hug of him a little.

“What about me? This is about Fé!”

“I know, but I’m just curious. I heard you rave about some male model’s _glimmering eyes_ for ten minutes the other day. There’s no way you’re straight.”

Félix snorted. “Oh, he definitely isn’t.”

Adrien pouted.

“Don’t make this about me. This is Fé’s big moment and I’m not gonna steal it from him.”

“I was mainly worried that you would be mad since _technically_ Alya found out first. Apart from that, this isn’t too big of a deal in terms of _coming out_ to me. We can both share the moment, I don’t mind,” Félix said.

Adrien sighed. “You and your stupid logic.”

“Come on now, we could make this a double-party. You’d get a whole cake to yourself,” Marinette said. A temptation that seemed much too strong that Adrien could resist it.

“Okay, okay! Honestly, I don’t know? I think I just like anyone who’s nice? Is that bisexuality?”

“Hmm, could be,” Marinette said thoughtfully. “Though I’m bi and I don’t like just _anyone_ who’s nice. Maybe you’re pansexual?”

For the second time that day, Félix was roped into a search about sexuality and romanticism, this time for his brother. In contrast to him, though, it wasn’t as black and white. With his absolute lack of attraction, there wasn’t much room left for contemplation and puzzling, while Adrien kept pondering over criteria Félix hadn’t even known existed. After some time—he wasn’t exactly sure how much, but an hour or two at least—and after denying five phone calls from Nathalie, they had still not come to a definite conclusion.

“This is confusing!” Adrien decided. “Can we just say I’m pan and call it a day? All these labels and parameters are so ambiguous! One says this, the other says the opposite. Ugh!”

He had slumped in Marinette’s lap and she was patting his head with a sympathetic but also amused smile on her face.

“There’s no rush to figure it out, you know,” she said.

“But I want the cake!” Adrien whined. “The longer it takes me to figure it out, the longer I’ll have to wait for it!”

She and Félix both rolled their eyes. He was honestly not surprised that his brother’s distress lay in the absence of sugary goods rather than a dilemma over his sexuality.

“Of all the things to be dramatic about,” Marinette said with a fond sigh and leaned down to kiss Adrien’s hair.

“Your cakes are the best after your parents’ so it’s justified,” Adrien argued, his voice muffled from where he was still laying face down on her legs.

“Well, instead you could be dramatic about Nathalie calling a sixth time soon. If we’re not home in fifteen minutes, we’ll definitely be grounded.”

The prospect of not being able to go outside without massive consequences made Adrien shoot up in an instant, panic flooding his eyes.

“But my Princess and I have a date tomorrow!”

“Then you better hurry before you’ll be forced to cancel,” Marinette said and smacked Adrien’s ass as he got up.

Félix rose too and walked over to the door. As he put on his shoes and coat, he saw how Adrien lingered, torn between going home and staying to steal a few kisses from his girlfriend.

“ _Three_ minutes,” he said and fixed Adrien with a serious stare. “Any longer and you’re on your own.”

His brother’s face lit up like a kid’s on Christmas.

“Thanks, Fé! I’ll be down asap, promise!”

Marinette gave Adrien a fond eye roll before walking over and hugging Félix once again.

“Even if you say it’s not a big deal, I’m still proud of you for coming out to us,” she said, gave him a tight squeeze and then let go with a grin.

Félix couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

Her grin suddenly turned into a terrifyingly dark scowl.

“And if your father ever says _anything_ about it, then I hope he has a good dentist because I’ll punch him so hard it’ll knock his teeth out.”

That made him honestly laugh and Adrien didn’t hesitate to join in.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Marinette snorted. “Please don’t. I don’t wanna end up in jail.”

“No worries, I’ll do it for both of you. He can’t lock up the face of his brand,” Adrien said with a mischievous grin.

“Deal!” Marinette said, a smirk on her face.

“And on that note, I’ll take my leave now. _Three_ minutes and not a second longer, Adrien.”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time.”

As Félix climbed down the stairs, leaving his brother and Marinette to their usual goodbye kisses, he felt something small and furry in his pocket.

“I very much hope you didn’t hide Camembert in there. This is a new coat,” he said.

“Nah, I hid it in your brother’s coat,” Plagg said as his eyes glinted mischievously up at Félix out of the darkness of the coat pocket.

“He won’t appreciate that much.”

“Meh, he’ll survive. His price to pay for being Chat Noir.”

Félix very much doubted it and rather set his bets on the kwami just being a mischievous little shit, but that was his brother’s problem.

“So, aroace, huh? Not every day I learn a new word.”

“Yes. It does explain a lot.”

“So I heard,” Plagg said and flew out of the pocket to hover in front of him now that they had arrived downstairs at the front door. “I’m not much for labels but if I’d have to define myself then I’d probably be that too. All that human mushiness is just gross, especially when it comes to the woes of romance. Cheese is simpler. It never betrays you and is always there for you when you need it.”

“Unless you eat it first.”

“Don’t ruin my metaphor, kitten.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Now, is there any reason in particular why you’re in _my_ pocket?”

“You think I’d voluntarily stay up there while these two are sucking faces? No thanks!”

“Good point.”

Félix looked at his phone. One minute and he’d leave, with or without Adrien.

“You think he’ll remember?” Plagg snickered.

“We’ll find out in thirty seconds.”

As if on cue, he could hear a breathless goodbye from upstairs before Adrien hurried down the stairs like a hunted man. If his brother wouldn’t be a Cat Sidhe, Félix would have honestly been impressed by the noiselessness with which it happened, careful to not wake Tom and Sabine.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad that at least you can relate, Plagg.”

The kwami snickered. “Don’t get your hopes up too much, kitten. I’m a _god_ and far superior to you. We two are not very alike.”

“The hairball you spit out yesterday tells a different story.”

Breathless, though Félix doubted from the silent sprint down the stairs, Adrien arrived downstairs just as the minute was over.

“See? Made it,” he said victoriously.

“Barely. Let’s go. Oh, and you might want to check your coat pockets,” Félix said as he opened the door.

“Why would I– Plagg!”

The kwami cackled, ducking down into Félix’s cheese-free coat once again.”

* * *

**AFTER CHAPTER 56**

* * *

If there was one day Félix started despising more and more with every passing year, then it was Valentine’s day. It wasn’t because all his friends were out on dates and he was left alone, though, as he was already used to that scenario. And while he certainly could find many things to complain about when it came to the glorification of romantic love on this day, it wasn’t that either. He preferred to see it as a holiday that just didn’t apply to him the same way as holidays of religions and cultures he didn’t partake in didn’t apply to him. There was nothing wrong with people celebrating their romantic relationships on a day dedicated to it, especially as it gave Adrien the perfect excuse to spoil Marinette without her being able to argue it much. His brother hadn’t shut up about his plans for weeks and Félix was honestly happy for the two of them. Therefore, in a general sense, Valentine’s day wasn’t all that bad.

There was foreboding though.

Paris was the city of love and it seemed to become extra excited about that prospect on Valentine’s day. However, while it was a day of love, it just as much was a day of heartbreak. Though with a certain Miraculous holder specialised in taking advantage of strong negative emotions, Paris was already at one of its greatest risks on this day. Together with the persistent foreboding feeling, Félix was preparing for the worst.

Love brought out both the best and worst in people and to fear solely heartbreak was ignorant. Last Valentine’s day had more than proven that fact. After all, what Paris had collectively written off as the Akuma’s powers and even mind control when it came to Chat Noir, had in reality been nothing else but desperation and devotion stripped bare, amplified and twisted in a grotesque fey way. And dear god, Marinette had been scared, was probably scared still, which once again showed how terrifying love could be when it was inhuman and _too much_. And he, aromantic or not, wasn’t an exception to that rule. If today would bring forth an Akuma like last year, then he couldn’t risk going outside to run damage control lest he’d run the risk of becoming a liability himself. At the same time, the fair folk would be _thrilled_ at this golden opportunity while Danu and her destructive partner were otherwise occupied.

Among all of these contemplations, Félix had, however, thoroughly forgotten another dangerous angle of love, nor had he considered a catastrophe outside of an Akuma attack to strike on this prominent day. He realised this all too late when Adrien came home surprisingly early and with a mood that threatened to make the heavens weep.

Félix had been lounging comfortably on the second level of their room, reading a book in semi-peace, when the door opened and a frightening shudder went through him. That alone was enough for goosebumps, but what really made him pale was the sight of his brother. Adrien looked like he had seen a ghost and been through hell.

“Did something go wrong?” Félix asked, immediately jumping up and rushing down the stairs.

He had barely touched down on the ground when Adrien crashed into him with a crushing hug that sent them both toppling over to the floor. His brother’s shoulders shook with sobs and he buried his face in Félix’s chest, not planning to move an inch from their position.

“I’m going to count that as a ‘yes,’” Félix said soberly with a sympathetic sigh, resigning himself to his fate and rubbed Adrien’s back in an attempt at comfort.

“Fé,” Adrien whined miserably and clutched him even tighter.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he said, though he grew nervous himself.

What could have possibly happened to distress Adrien this much? There hadn’t been an Akuma—Félix had checked the Ladyblog and other news sites almost religiously—and as far as he knew, the Court hadn’t been active either. Therefore, it must have been something between his brother and Marinette. They couldn’t have broken up, not with how blissfully in love they both were. Suddenly his blood ran cold as he remembered what situation they were currently in with Chloé and how her attempts to break their glamour in front of Marinette had been suspiciously lacking these past few weeks.

“Fé…she found out,” Adrien sobbed, as if reading his mind. “Marinette found out.”

As if this piece of news wasn’t earth-shattering enough, Adrien raised his head and directly looked at him, his face smeared with water and his eyes red. It took Félix a few seconds to grasp the impossibility of what he was seeing.

“Are you…crying?”

He knew how ridiculous it sounded—they were _Cat Sidhe_ , they _couldn’t_ cry! Yet here his brother was, undeniably crying in the most heart-wrenching way. Félix was at a true loss on what to do. Comforting his brother was something he knew how to deal with, no matter how serious the matter. But tears? He had no idea what to do about tears. Had someone _ever_ cried on him before? If yes, then he certainly couldn’t remember it to use it as a guide, and he doubted that he’d have been good at comforting a crying person in the first place. When Alya had cried he had simply handed her a tissue and waited for her to stop.

Adrien though? He couldn’t just hand him a tissue, pat him on the back and wait for it to be over. His brother could be this emotional for _days_ without stopping and Félix knew for a fact that fae could cry for ridiculous amounts of time. If waiting for him to stop wasn’t an option, he somehow needed to handle this. Concentrating on the core matter at hand might be the best option, especially when it came to finding out how things had come to this contrariety.

Félix sat up, heaving his brother into a sitting position with him.

“She knows now?”

Try as he might, he couldn’t muster more than a disbelieving whisper. To his surprise, Adrien shook his head.

“N-no. S-she…she f-forgot. F-for n-n-now,” Adrien stuttered, still shaken with sobs and immediately buried his head in Félix’s, by now wet, shirt again.

He was more confused than ever.

“Plagg, can you provide insight, please?” He said, knowing that Adrien wouldn’t be able to talk coherently in such a state for quite some time.

The kwami shrugged.

“Only if Adrien is fine with me telling,” Plagg said in unusual seriousness.

His brother weakly nodded.

“Please, Plagg,” he said, though it sounded like Adrien was rather begging the god for something else. For him to fix whatever had gone wrong, probably. Plagg was no deity made for mending wounds though, rather for tearing them open.

“There was a rowan wand hidden in her room, it broke his glamour and he charmed her to forget what she saw. Then he started crying.”

That…that was a lot for just two sentences. Félix held his brother closer as the sobs picked up and for a while, he muttered some empty reassurances that he hoped to be soothing. He knew that neither of them had planned to charm a person ever again, especially not on purpose. For Adrien to have broken that promise to himself, on Marinette of all people, there really must have been no other way. If he had been there, Félix might have done it himself, though also with clear hesitation. And with how much Adrien loved Marinette…no wonder he had breached that impassable border to tears, even though Félix still didn’t know how that was even possible.

It made sense that people kept putting romantic relationships on a pedestal when the sheer love and heartbreak from it was seemingly strong enough to break through ancient magic. Wasn’t it even Plagg’s magic, since he had something to do with Cat Sidhes’ existence? Inappropriate as it may be, Félix couldn’t help being envious. Romantic love was stronger than platonic love, that much had always been clear, but while it had been a vague estimate so far, it could now measure itself with magic power. Was he, validated in his feelings or not, broken and heartless after all? How could he miss something that had never been part of him yet seemed to be so crucial?

Félix tore his thoughts away from those useless contemplations. That had time for later. Right now, he needed to reassure his brother. He hadn’t seen him this broken since their mother had disappeared and back then, he himself had been little better off.

“But if she forgot, then that’s good, isn’t it? She won’t remember,” he said.

Adrien shook his head. “She’ll remember,” he mumbled. “Tikki said it’s only a question of time.”

That was a sobering revelation.

Félix took a deep breath, trying to stay strong amidst the chaos they were in and provide security for his twin.

“We knew this day would come someday,” he said quietly. “With how smart she is, it’s insane how far we made it _without_ her figuring us out, honestly.”

Adrien let out another series of miserable sobs.

“Hey, we can deal with this,” Félix said, sounding as convinced as he himself could be of such a statement, making it dithery at best and weak at worst. “If anything, you bought us time to think over how we’re going to explain things to her without causing huge misunderstandings and without making her hate us in the end. We can do this.”

“I dunno, Fé,” Adrien sobbed. “She…she’s too important. The Court will be after her.”

“The Court is after her either way, kid,” Plagg threw in. “And she’s safe as long as she has Tikki.”

“But for how long?!” Adrien suddenly yelled, making Félix flinch back. “What if something happens to Tikki like with the Princess Fragrance attack and the Court gets her?! WHAT _THEN_ , PLAGG?!”

“Then she has _you two_ , you oblivious cat!” Plagg hissed.

“We’ll have to prepare ourselves to tell her the truth. Ignorance isn’t going to keep her safe for much longer,” Félix said.

“No,” Adrien hissed darkly. “We’ll keep her oblivious for as long as possible. I’m not gonna drag her down to this _hell_ before it’s absolutely necessary.”

“You’re not dragging anyone to hell, kid. The Court does,” Plagg pointed out, but his brother was inconsolable.

“Don’t act like we’re _innocent_ in this!” He hissed. “ _I_ approached her. We _both_ befriended her, _knowing_ about the risks. _I_ asked her to be my girlfriend, not _caring_ about how much worse it would become, and _I_ charmed her. You said it earlier Plagg: The Court is just wicked and it’s doing what they’ve _always_ been doing. _We_ dragged her closer to the fair folk, _no one else!_ ”

Félix winced. Hearing the truth spoken through tears of anger hurt, but his guilt was _nothing_ on what Adrien must be feeling right now.

Plagg sighed and shook his head.

“Kid, remember what Tikki said. You’re not the only ones in this game and there are others, like Chloé, to blame as well. We don’t know her motives, but if she wanted to do something malicious to your girl, then she would have _done_ so by now.”

“She just _did,_ ” Adrien hissed out through gritted teeth.

“No, I mean something _truly_ malicious. Breaking your glamour is _nothing_ in comparison to what she otherwise could have done and you know it.”

That made Félix pause. Plagg was right and Chloé, with her position in the Court, had access to more means than most others. A rowan wand and a ton load of clover were the only things she had tried to sneak into Marinette’s things though, which were almost insignificant in comparison to cursed objects, faerie fruit or a fae-touched goblet for elderberry wine. All of these things would have been easy for her to acquire with results of certain doom. What was Chloé playing at?

“We can’t do anything now anyway. What’s done is done,” Adrien eventually muttered.

The fight had left him and he slumped against Félix in a pile of misery.

“We’ll run damage control. There’s surely _something_ we can do to keep her safe.”

His brother sobbed, a fear in his teary eyes that Félix could relate to.

“I can’t lose her, Fé. I just _can’t._ ”

Félix might not know a lot about romance, but he understood _this_ kind of love. The fear of losing their family, a pain both of them had gone through once before, was paralyzing, and he was amazed with himself how calm he could stay despite it all. Still, the situation remained the same. Marinette was in danger and there was only a very slim chance that they wouldn’t lose her one way or another. If he knew one thing for sure, then it was that love, whether it was platonic or romantic, was worth fighting for, and Marinette was the second most important person in his life. He’d fight to keep her safe, no matter the cost.

“We won’t lose her,” he said and wasn’t sure if it was the cruellest lie he ever told or the most reckless promise he had ever given.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's the point where everything starts to go downhill for everyone, but especially for Félix. 😬
> 
> * * *
> 
> Yes, I headcanon Alya and Marinette as bisexual and Adrien as pansexual. As I said, sexual and romantic orientations aren't a focus in the main story and the ships remain the same, so if my headcanons bother you for some reason, you can always imagine whatever you want otherwise. Félix is very solidly aroace though and it will be referenced as such more clearly in upcoming chapters of the main story, hence why I uploaded this one-shot now.


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